My Crazy, Sweet Journey to Motherhood...: February 2013

I can't believe it but Tatum is 1 year old today! It is so surreal because it seems like yesterday that she was this tiny baby laying in the nicu in the hospital attached to oxygen and a feeding tube and now she is this strong, thriving baby who continues to amaze me everyday. We have had so many ups and downs this year but mostly ups. I have learned so much from this little baby about myself and about life. She teaches me so much about who I want to be and who I want to become. She makes me want to be a better person, not only for her but for the rest of the world. She has taught me patience, humility, and that I am so much stronger then I even know. She makes me reach so far deep inside myself that sometimes I want to pull my hair out but then she will flash me her sweet, precious smile and then I know everything will be ok. I've never been so scared of so much but so strong and brave at the same time.

This past year has been so wonderful watching my little girl grow. She started off so little and helpless and has gotten so big and is walking and speaking a few words and is so smart! Rich and I are always astounded at her intelligence! I know every parent thinks their child is smart but in this case it's actually true, hahaha!!! Every time I take her to the doctor, she is always ahead for milestones and that is even more exciting since she was born 5 weeks early! We have always been allowed to adjust her age for development but have never needed to. She has always done so well developmentally and it is so wonderful!

Today we had her birthday party and it was so much fun! Tatum wouldn't nap in the morning so she wasn't in the best mood during her party but she still had a lot of fun! She had most of her family there and a lot of her sweet, little pals there. They were all so cute playing together in the family room. I decorated the house with a cute banner that I made and a photo timeline of pictures from birth until today. I also put her smash cake pictures up. Everyone loved the pictures! I also made a tutu for her highchair and a sign that said "I AM ONE!" I requested all the guests to write a wish, piece of advice, etc for Tatum to read on her 18th birthday. I had the cutest birthday cake made for the guests and then a mini version of her smash cake for her to have all to herself. We also had a piñata that the kids got to hit and open to reveal all kinds of cute toys and books for all the babies. The party turned out really well and I had a lot of fun putting it all together! I think all of the guests had a great time and I hope Tatum will look back on the photos of it fondly. I know first birthday parties are for the parents and this one was no exception. We wanted to celebrate her life and make a big deal of this birthday and I am so glad that we did! The other really big thing that we did is Rich and I put together a video of pictures from this past year set to music. The three songs that we put in it are songs that mean a lot to us and say so much about how we feel about Tatum. The songs are Miracle by Celine Dion, Songbird by Eva Cassidy and Daughter by Loudon Wainwright. We had a lot of fun putting it together and I hope Tatum will cherish it forever.

I look forward to what this next year has in store with her. There's going to be many more milestones ahead and so much more fun. This year went by so incredibly fast, much faster then I could have ever understood. Everyone kept telling me to really enjoy her and that it would go fast and they weren't kidding. I really do try to enjoy her as much as I can. In the middle of the night when I am up with her feeling frustrated that she isn't sleeping, I try to tell myself that this is going to be gone in the blink of an eye and that I will want this time back. I know she won't need me forever so I am really trying to cherish this time with her. We say this everyday but we truly love this little baby girl so very much and feel so blessed to have her in our lives. We are so lucky to have her and she makes me so happy that I am her Mom and she is my daughter. I AM SO BLESSED!!!!!!!

Today is Miss Tatum's very first Valentine's Day!! This morning I woke up to roses, chocolates, and balloons from Rich and he got Tatum a stuffed Valentine bear that's chocolate scented! It was very sweet of him to do that for us and we really appreciated it!! :) Rich had to go to work so Tatum and I went to a Valentine party with my Mom's group. It was a lot of fun! I made Valentine's for all of her pals but no one else made any. :( They all loved her card…there's a pic below. Elvis showed up at the party, Tatum had her first date with a boy (Colton) and it was so dang cute. They sat together at a big kid table and had lunch together. Tatum played with all of her friends and we all had a great time! Later in the evening, I just had a heart pizza made again at Papa Murphy's, just like I did last year but it was really cute and good.