Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday May 31, 2011
I'm on my fourth day of Clomid today and my ovaries are really aching!! I have had a few hot flashes too but all in all, it's not too bad. It's a small sacrifice if I get a baby out of this! I just keep visualizing and dreaming of my baby. I can't wait to meet him/her and hold her/him in my arms. I just keep visualizing it over and over... :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday May 26, 2011
I went in for my cycle day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound today. Dr. Patel found 3 follicles in my right ovary and 2 in my left so he said he was pleasantly surprised at how many more follicles I had this time. He said that he felt a little better about the situation. I was very happy, to say the least! He wrote me the prescription for 100 mg of Clomid to start on cycle day 5. Clomid is an ovarian stimulant that will hopefully help my ovaries to make more follicles and mature them. I am to take the Clomid for 5 days and then go in for bloodwork again on cycle day 10 and then another ultrasound on cycle day 12 to see how the follicles matured. I am so excited to see how this will all progress and am continually visualizing my future baby everyday.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tuesday May 24, 2011
Today was very interesting and exciting! I started the day by seeing Jamie Clark for a reading. I have never done that ever and thought, what the hell?! A client of mine has done a few readings with him and he has been spot-on with a lot. So basically what he said was that he sees me with a baby by this time next year. He sees 2 babies, one definitely a boy and one is probably a girl. He didn't say necessarily twins but that it's a possibility. He also said that he knew I was seeking medical treatment to get pregnant and that if it doesn't work this treatment, it would work the next one. He said to keep visualizing having a baby and feeling a baby to manifest it. I was super excited to hear his news!
I also had my first appointment with Ilumina Healing Center for my acupuncture appointment. I had a pretty lengthy consultation and they feel pretty confident that they can help me. After 30 seconds of the needles going in, my ovaries started cramping. I could feel them getting stimulated right away. It was such a cool feeling. Right away I knew that this is going to help me. The next crazy thing that happened is that I finally started my period today after spotting for 3 days! I know the acupuncture helped me start. I called Dr. Patel's office to schedule my cycle day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound. Hooray, I can finally start my IUI process!
I also had my first appointment with Ilumina Healing Center for my acupuncture appointment. I had a pretty lengthy consultation and they feel pretty confident that they can help me. After 30 seconds of the needles going in, my ovaries started cramping. I could feel them getting stimulated right away. It was such a cool feeling. Right away I knew that this is going to help me. The next crazy thing that happened is that I finally started my period today after spotting for 3 days! I know the acupuncture helped me start. I called Dr. Patel's office to schedule my cycle day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound. Hooray, I can finally start my IUI process!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Monday May 23, 2011
We are anxiously waiting for my period to start so we can get going on the IUI. I started spotting yesterday a little and then absolutely nothing today. :( It's so frustrating. We can't get started with everything until my cycle day 3 so I wish I would start already!!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
May 19, 2011
I could not get my mind off everything today. I worked all day and then we went to celebrate Jen's promotion at The Keg tonight. I didn't let my sadness show to anyone and just drowned my sorrows in glass after glass of wine. Not a good solution but one that helped me get through the night. I got an appointment with Ilumina on Tuesday and I am so excited! I cannot wait to see if they can help me! I am hoping and praying for a miracle. Miracles happen, right?!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
May 18, 2011
Today was a rough day. My mind is still reeling with all these thoughts, questions, etc. I just could not stop crying today and of course, Rich was so sweet. He came home from work to comfort me. That meant so much to me. I researched online all day what I could do to help my chances for a successful pregnancy and found out quite a lot on information. I found out that acupuncture has helped a lot of ladies before and during IVF treatments so I thought, why can't it work for an IUI treatment? On a random web site that is geared toward High FSH, I found info on a clinic here in Scottsdale called Ilumina Healing Center. They focus primarily on women's infertility issues through acupuncture, chinese herbs, diet and massage. I am beside myself with excitement to get an appointment! I also found a clinic in New York that specializes in working with High FSH patients that sounds hopeful. They suggest taking a DHEA supplement everyday to assist in lowering the FSH. It's basically a low level, male hormone that has shown to lower the FSH. So of course I ran right out to Sprouts and picked up a bottle! :)
I am determined to do whatever is in my control to help my situation. I am ready, willing, and able to do this!! I will not have the desire to have my own child taken away from me. I am going to fight and do what I can to make this happen!
I am determined to do whatever is in my control to help my situation. I am ready, willing, and able to do this!! I will not have the desire to have my own child taken away from me. I am going to fight and do what I can to make this happen!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday May 16, 2011
My entire future has completely changed today. Rich and I had our follow-up appointment with Dr. Patel (our Reproductive Endocrinologist) to go over the results of all our tests to find out why I haven't been able to get pregnant. I stopped taking birth control 3 years ago and just thought that when the time was right, I would get pregnant. We weren't really paying attention to my cycles in the beginning but the last year or so I have been documenting them. They have been all over the place. There's no rhyme or reason to when Aunt Flow comes so it's been difficult to pinpoint ovulation. Which leads us to why we sought out help from Dr. Patel.
Unfortunately, Patel had really bad news for us. He told us that my follicle count in my ovaries was really low, 3 in my right and 1 in my left. He also said that my FSH (Follicle stimulating hormone) was really high, 18. He has diagnosed me with Diminished Ovarian Reserve and has stated that I am Peri-Menopausal. The bad news just kept coming. He told us that we could try an IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) but that we would only have a 5% chance of having a successful, live birth. Our best bet he said would be IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) but he was only giving us a 12-15% chance of a live birth. I was, am completely devastated. This was not the news I was hoping to hear but had a feeling in my heart before we went that it would be bad. He said that the reason for this is genetic and that there's nothing that I could have done to prevent this from happening. I am 37 years old but he said that my ovaries, hormones, etc. are more of a 45 year old woman. How the hell is a 45 year old woman supposed to get pregnant??? Patel is concerned with the cost of IVF for us with such a low chance for success. Our insurance will cover a couple rounds of IUI and whatever is left over, can go toward IVF. An IVF cycle will cost somewhere in the $15,000 range. Most doctors will not take me on as an IVF patient because of my low chance for success because I can "ruin" their published success rates. Patel has stated that he will support me 100% in whatever decision we make and will do whatever we feel we are up to trying. So we are now faced with the decision to go ahead & try the IUI because he said that even if it doesn't work, he will get a better look at how my body responds to the stimulating medications. It will give him more insight in case we have to try an IVF.
This has been an incredibly difficult day for me and for Rich. I bawled my eyes out all afternoon and Rich finally allowed himself to feel the pain of all this. He was trying to be so strong for me and hold it together in my presence but as soon as he had a moment alone, he broke down. I've never seen him cry like that and although I felt horrible for him, I was a little relieved that I wasn't the only one so upset and that he felt comfortable finally allowing himself to let go. I instantly knew that we were in this deep and that we were in this…together.
Unfortunately, Patel had really bad news for us. He told us that my follicle count in my ovaries was really low, 3 in my right and 1 in my left. He also said that my FSH (Follicle stimulating hormone) was really high, 18. He has diagnosed me with Diminished Ovarian Reserve and has stated that I am Peri-Menopausal. The bad news just kept coming. He told us that we could try an IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) but that we would only have a 5% chance of having a successful, live birth. Our best bet he said would be IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) but he was only giving us a 12-15% chance of a live birth. I was, am completely devastated. This was not the news I was hoping to hear but had a feeling in my heart before we went that it would be bad. He said that the reason for this is genetic and that there's nothing that I could have done to prevent this from happening. I am 37 years old but he said that my ovaries, hormones, etc. are more of a 45 year old woman. How the hell is a 45 year old woman supposed to get pregnant??? Patel is concerned with the cost of IVF for us with such a low chance for success. Our insurance will cover a couple rounds of IUI and whatever is left over, can go toward IVF. An IVF cycle will cost somewhere in the $15,000 range. Most doctors will not take me on as an IVF patient because of my low chance for success because I can "ruin" their published success rates. Patel has stated that he will support me 100% in whatever decision we make and will do whatever we feel we are up to trying. So we are now faced with the decision to go ahead & try the IUI because he said that even if it doesn't work, he will get a better look at how my body responds to the stimulating medications. It will give him more insight in case we have to try an IVF.
This has been an incredibly difficult day for me and for Rich. I bawled my eyes out all afternoon and Rich finally allowed himself to feel the pain of all this. He was trying to be so strong for me and hold it together in my presence but as soon as he had a moment alone, he broke down. I've never seen him cry like that and although I felt horrible for him, I was a little relieved that I wasn't the only one so upset and that he felt comfortable finally allowing himself to let go. I instantly knew that we were in this deep and that we were in this…together.
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