Friday June 29, 2012 - 18 Weeks Old

We took Tatum to get her VCUG test today and it was awful! They had to catheterize her and strap her down to take x ray pictures of the contrast dye moving through her urinary system. She cried and screamed through the whole thing. It took everything in me to not break down and cry for her. I felt so bad for her that I couldn't help her. It was horrible. The good news, however, is she does not have urinary reflux; which is what we were getting her checked for. We were very happy to hear that! We hope that we don't have to take her for any more tests anytime soon. She was not a happy baby the rest of the day. She cried and cried off and on all night until we finally got her in bed. My poor baby. I hope she sleeps really well tonight and feels better tomorrow!

The big news also is that Tatum rolled over yesterday! The bad news is that we both missed it! :( I was coming home from work and Rich was with her cheering her on to turn over from her tummy. He said that he walked away to grab his phone and when he came back, she was flipped on her back! Dang, we both missed it but we are happy she is doing it now! We tried to get her to do it this morning but she wasn't interested. It figures! Ha! Hopefully Rich will get it on video tomorrow. Yeah Tatum!

Wednesday June 27, 2012 18 Weeks Old

Tatum had her four month appointment today with Dr. DaSilva and she's doing great! She is now 10 lbs 9.5 ozs. She is 23.25" long and her head circumference is 15.5". She is 3% on the growth chart for weight, 10-25% for length and 10% for head. Her doctor is really happy with how well she is doing and so are we! She had her second round of vaccination's today and she did really well this time, thank God! She was such a pistol last time. She cried, of course but she wasn't as fussy the rest of the night as she was the last time. It makes me feel so horrible though. I get so sad when she cries like that. I never thought I would be "one of those Mom's" that cries when her baby cries or when she hurts but I do and I am. I always thought women were being silly when they said they cried when their babies got vaccinated. I always thought that it's something that they need and why cry about it? Ha!!! It's a different story when it's your baby laying there getting poked with 4 needles and she's screaming in agony. It makes me feel so bad for her but I know it is necessary for her health. I would feel worse if I didn't get her vaccination's and she came down with Pertussis or another terrible disease and I could have prevented it. We were hoping Tatum would be ready to start cereal now but her doctor feels that we should wait for another month. I absolutely agree.

At Dr. DaSilva's office and with Dr. DaSilva

I've been sick the past couple of days and I am trying my hardest to not get her sick. It is really difficult. Last night I came home from work and felt so horrible and just wanted to lay down and die. I fed her anyway with a bandana around my nose and mouth so I didn't infect her ha ha!! So hopefully we can make it through this without her getting sick.

Me with my "mask" so that I didn't get Tatum sick. I think it worked! :)

Tatum is still on the verge of really turning over. She tries every day and gets to her side but then flips back. She will do it soon and I just hope I don't miss it when I'm at work. She enjoys sitting in her Baby Einstein jumper, even though her feet don't touch the ground. We put a pillow under her feet so she can bounce off of that now. I think she will really like in the next couple of month's. She is still pretty small for it and doesn't quite know what to do with it. She is so dang cute in it though!!!

Saturday June 23, 2012 - 17 Weeks, 4 Month's Old!!

Happy 4 month Tatum!!! I cannot believe she is 4 month's already. Time is truly flying. Right now we take her to Musicology classes twice a week, swim lessons once a week and story time at the library once a week. She loves all her activities and she is really learning a lot! She is really doing so well developmentally. This week she is pushing herself up on her hands/arms when she's on her tummy really well! She also is trying to flip over. She is really working on it when she lays on her back. She has come so close the past couple of days and I know she will do it soon. I think she will in the next week.

Tatum is really working on talking. It's so cute! She studies my mouth when I talk to her and I can tell she is really trying to see what I am doing when I talk to her. It sounds like she says, "Hi" and "I love you" when I say it to her. She is amazing! She smiles, laughs and coos a lot now. She still loves to play on her mat and we bought a foam alphabet/number mat to put in the family room on the tile so that she can be out in the family room with us and interact with us. I'm sure that is where she will roll over the first time! We are having so much fun with Tatum. I am really trying to enjoy every minute with her because I know she will grow up so fast. It makes me really sad to think about it. I hope I can hold onto her as long as possible…as long as she will let me. I tell her every night before she goes to bed how much I love her, care for me and that she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my heart, my soul, my love, and my life. I am so blessed to have this precious, beautiful, amazing miracle in my life. I still don't know what I did to deserve her. She is just so, so wonderful!

Tuesday June 19, 2012 - 16.5 Weeks Old

Today I took Tatum to story time at Basha Library. It wasn't as good as the one we normally go to at Perry Library but she seemed to like it. We then met up with my sissy Debbie and drove up to Scottsdale to her Sister in Law, Brooke's house. Brooke has a 5.5 month old little girl named Harlow and a 2 year old named Scarlett. It was so cute to get the two baby's together to "play". I don't think they were even really aware of each other being there. Ha! They were so cute together anyway and we had a lot of fun!

Tatum and Harlow

Friday June 15, 2012 - 16 Weeks Old

We had to take Tatum to Cardon Children's Hospital today for an ultrasound of her urinary tract. Since she has already had a UTI, they do an ultrasound to make sure everything is functioning properly. We found out that there is a slight problem with her ureter tubes. The urine is supposed to flow freely through the tubes from the kidney's and the urine is pooling there instead. There is a chance she could possibly have urinary reflux so now we have to take her back to get a test done called VCUG (Voiding CystoUrethroGram). They will inject contrast dye into her urethra and take pictures of it going through her urinary tract. We hope everything is fine because it could mean a long time on antibiotics and/or further urinary problems. We are just praying that everything will be okay. Her VCUG will be in 2 weeks.


Yesterday we put Tatum in her Baby Einstein jumper for the first time. It was so cute!!! Her feet can't reach the floor but she looked adorable! She didn't quite know what to make of it and was bouncing from the front to the back because she wasn't stable in it and it was hilarious!! Rich said that she looked like a judge coming down with a decision. Ha! I also put her in her cute chair in her room. We call it her "Big girl chair". She can't sit up in it yet but I just wanted to see how cute she would be in it and of course, she is adorable!!!

Plotting world domination…ha ha!!

 Big girl chair!

Just being silly!!

Monday June 11, 2012 - 15.5 Weeks Old

Tatum started Musicology class today. It was a blast! Musicology is a music based class for babies and kids that promotes language, rhythm, motor skills, self-esteem, creativity and joy! Research shows that exposure to specific types of musical activities wires the brain for language, reading, math, and motor skills. It's also a very fun class and we sing songs, blow bubbles, dance to music and play with toys! I am all for anything that will boost her development and learning skills and the fact that it's really fun is awesome! We are going to go 2 times a week for the rest of the Summer and then see how it goes. I'm sure if we like it we will continue. She really liked it today and so do Rich and I.

I also had some fun dressing Miss T up in her new purple outfit and her purple headband and flower! She is just so dang cute!! We had a little photo session at home before class. Here are some of the pictures that I took and some from Musicology class.

Saturday May 26, 2012 - 3 Month's

Tatum started swim classes this week. It was so cute!! We are taking her to Hubbard Family Swim School. They offer free lessons to all babies until they are 6 month's old so we are definitely taking advantage of the offer. She loved getting into the water and floating. First we get them used to being in the water by drizzling water over them and then they get to float on their backs, swim on their belly's, an activity on the side of the pool; like looking at themselves in a mirror or reaching for a toy, then they get tummy time on a floating mat. She really loved all of it until the tummy time on the mat. She tolerated it for a minute and then cried. She hates tummy time!! She always cries when we make her do it. This was no exception. She was so adorable swimming around and I can't wait to see how much she improves!

Today we went to the Farmer's Market in Phoenix. It was starting to get hot while we were there but I carried Tatum around in my Ergo carrier. It was so great. I still remember dreaming about taking her there and us shopping for our fruits and vegetables together. I will teach about proper eating and what to buy. She slept through the whole thing today but it was fun anyway! When we came home, she played for awhile with Rich in her room and this is what I walked into…

Daddy and Tatum taking a nap. Playing is hard work!!

After 1st swim class

Farmer's Market

Sunday May 13, 2012 - 11.5 Weeks Old - My First Mother's Day!!!

Today was my very first Mother's Day!!! I still cannot believe it! I cannot believe that I actually a Mom. A real Mom. All my dreams have come true with my beautiful baby girl. She is the absolute love of my life. She is my everything, my heart, my soul and the reason why I exist. I was put here to be this precious baby's Mom. To take care of her, love her, protect her and to teach her the meaning of love. I never thought that I would be blessed with a baby and to have Tatum is beyond everything that I could have hoped for. She is absolutely amazing and I love her more and more with every day. We truly hit the jackpot with this baby. She is the best baby and my absolute everything. I cannot say that enough!

I celebrated with Rich and Tatum in the morning with Rich making my breakfast. He also gave me a beautiful card and necklace with a Mom and baby on it. It is so sweet and I love it! I then spent the afternoon with my Mom, sister and Ashley. It's also Ashley's birthday today…the big 21! We went to lunch and saw a movie. It was nice to get out and see a movie but I missed Tatum so much!! I cried when I came home because I was sad that I didn't spend the entire day with her but it was fun and she had fun with Daddy. He wanted me to have some time away and I did appreciate it that too.

I had a great first Mother's Day and I am so blessed that I could celebrate it for the first time! I can't wait  for the coming years with Tatum and all the cute cards and gifts that I am sure she will make for me! Those will be absolutely precious! I love being a Mom but I especially love being Tatum's Mom! She is beyond amazing. I love her so much!!!

My baby girl Tatum and I :)

                                   
                                Happy 21st birthday Ash!!

Mother's Day lunch

Mom and Deb

Thursday April 19, 2012 - 8 Weeks Old

Last night I packed up all of Tatum's Preemie clothes. It is bittersweet. It is so great that she is now too big for these teeny, tiny clothes but this just means it is the first step in her growing up. :( I know it is silly but I can't help but feel a little sad about it. Don't get me wrong, I am super excited that she is getting bigger and progressing and can now wear some of these really cute clothes that she has but I'm sad at the same time. We are saving them for now just in case we need them again for the next child, if we have one. If we don't end up needing them, we will donate them to the NICU at Scottsdale Shea and give back to them. Even if we do end up using them again, we will still donate them when we are done with them. I will save a couple of her outfits that she wore a lot for her to have when she's older as  memento's.

I put Tatum in her Bumbo seat for the first time today. She is too cute in it! She sat in it for a couple of minutes before she cried. We will keep trying. It helps them sit supported to help get her off her back some more. She still doesn't tolerate tummy time all that well so anything to get her off of her back is great!

I love this picture! She looks like a little, old man!

Sitting in her Bumbo with Gabby and Roxy giving her a kiss! 

Wednesday April 11, 2012 - 7 Weeks Old

Today I had to go back to work. It was so hard to say goodbye to Tatum this morning! I cried my eyes out saying goodbye to her and the whole way to work. I need to go back because Rich still isn't working and we need the money. I'm bummed because I originally planned to take 8-10 weeks off but with Rich not working it's not possible. It's also going to be good for me to get back to a normal routine again and start to feel like myself again. I'm still having a hard time with what I think may be Post-Partum Depression or maybe still Baby Blues. I'm really not sure what the difference is but I'm still pretty sad and out of sorts. I'm not sad about having Tatum at all! I love her so, so much and wouldn't change anything it's just a huge adjustment and I think the fact that she came 5 weeks early really took a toll on me. I wasn't prepared at all and I still feel like the end of my pregnancy was robbed from me. I know that it was a gift getting Tatum a whole 5 weeks early but watching her in the NICU hooked up to Oxygen and feeding tubes was horrible. Having to leave her night after night in the hospital and going home without my baby was horrible. I would have to get up every few hours to pump and I would just stare at her picture that one of the nurses took of her and printed out for me. I would stare at it to help my milk letdown and to try and feel connected to her even though she was miles and miles away in North Scottsdale in the hospital without me. I didn't feel like a real Mom because I didn't have my baby at home with me. I wasn't taking care of her. There was a whole staff of nurses and doctors doing my job. I felt terrible, useless and like I said, not like a real Mom. I still feel like this isn't all real and that I'm in a dream world. It's been really difficult with Rich not working but it's also been the most beautiful thing to have him home with us. I thought when I was pregnant that I would only want him home the first 2 weeks and then want to settle into my own routine but it is so wonderful having him home. We make a great team and I can't imagine doing this with anyone else. I love my little family and I hope that I will feel more like myself really soon. I know I won't be the same person that I was before. I am forever changed but in the best way possible. God graced me with this most beautiful present that I have ever been given. I will never be the same person, but a better version of myself. I just have to figure out how to settle into this new person that I now am. I am a Mom now. I still can't believe it. I am a Mom now. I never thought I would be able to say those words. It is the most amazing feeling in the world!!

Pictures Daddy took while I was at work today…smiling and very serious :)

We missed each other today!!!!

Tatum's new Wubbanub :)