Friday March 16, 2012 - 3 Weeks Old

The last couple of weeks have been one big blur. We have been adjusting to having a newborn baby in the house. We have no idea what we are doing but thank God for the nurses in the hospital for helping us get started! They gave us so much information and so many helpful hints. I wouldn't know half off what I know now without them. Rich and I have been taking turns getting up with Tatum during the day and night. I'm still pumping my breasts every 3 hours for 30 minutes but my milk has finally come in! We are now exclusively feeding her breast milk and for that I am grateful! It has been so challenging. Much harder then I ever thought possible. We had such a rough start so I didn't think my milk would ever come in. It's very difficult for me because in addition to feeding Tatum, I have to pump constantly. As soon as I'm done pumping, Tatum is almost ready to get up again and we start the process of feeding and pumping all over again. I don't leave the house too often because I have to pump all the time. I did just start to leave for short periods of time to go to the store or Target. I'm feeling depressed. I am overjoyed with Tatum and having her home but I am depressed too. I know baby blues are common so I hope it ends soon. It's just been really, really hard. I'm super tired all the time, my breasts hurt and I just don't feel like myself. I know I'm a different person now but I just don't see myself anymore. Please do not get me wrong, I love Tatum more then life itself and I cannot believe we have been given this miracle. As any new parent knows, it's just a hard adjustment.

Rich and I are in constant awe that we have this beautiful, remarkable baby! We love her so much and each day brings us something new and wonderful. She has changed so much already. Everyone says to enjoy it all because it will go fast and it already is. I can't believe it! We're supposed to give Tatum an hour of tummy time everyday to strengthen her neck and she absolutely hates it! She cries the entire time. She also is starting to kick up her legs and has even flipped herself over! We were stunned. We will keep at it but it makes me sad to see her cry like that. We are literally flying by the seats of our pants. We feed her and move her from her swing to her bouncy seat to her surfboard play mat and back again. Whatever will make her happy at that moment. She is a pretty content and easy going baby right now. She really only cries when she's hungry or needs a diaper change. We are hoping it isn't just because she's a newborn and "not awake" yet. Only time will tell. We also took her on her first walk and it was great. We have been trying to go everyday since. It's nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air. We have had a lot of visitors. Everyone wants to see Tatum and breathe in her awesomeness!!

We brought her to get professional photos done and it was a lot of fun. She pretty much slept the entire time and we got some great pictures. I'm so happy we did it. We will have great memories of how little she was. That's the one thing everyone always says to us. "She's so little!" She really is but we are used to it now. She will get bigger and bigger in no time. Life has been hard too because of Rich's job situation. He is trying really hard to get a new job but it has been tough. It's been nice having him home so that we can get settled into our new life but at the same time, we are worried. I think I will have to go back to work sooner then I had anticipated but it will be good for me to get back into my normal routine anyway. Right now we are just really trying to enjoy Tatum and settling into our new life together. We originally had her sleeping in a bassinet in our room next to the bed but we had to move her out at 2 weeks. We were all having a hard time sleeping and it just wasn't working for us. We are all getting better sleep since we decided to do that. We constantly worry about whether or not she's breathing and we check her all the time. I mean….all the time. It's ridiculous but I'm sure all parents do that. We worry about her all the time but she is wonderful and we are so truly blessed. I cant imagine her not being in my life now. What did I do before she came? Ha! Ha!